Barret’s Comments

lol Sandeep

replied on I'm king of the world · 7 years ago

That got a tiny snort from me

replied on Overdue · 7 years ago

lol

Unironic lol.

replied on Cool card trick · 7 years ago

gay

on Overdue · 7 years ago

Was feeling a little lazy today, so decided to order takeaway. I invited this "lady" I was talking to online to come visit, which she was into, and was on her way instantly.

2 hours later...

She arrived. I completely forgot the rule I set for myself, to ask for a fresh picture showing body before letting anything visit. Of course she looked nothing like the picture. The big nice tits were not even silicone, but some fake bra crap with hella-stuffing.

But she was here, and I don't like letting a meal go to waste, she looked alright, "I can do this" I said to myself. She undressed, revealing her inverted pepperoni tits.

"Naturale."

Yeah thanks... what else would it be.

Now I never got the joke on Always Sunny In Philadelphia, with the chick with the dead tooth that smells, like how bad can a tooth smell? I was soon to find out.

Not only was one of her teeth dead, it looked like her entire mouth was dead, her gums were a dark blue, almost black color. How is this even possible? I thought to myself.

"You don't look much like your pictures" I said. "Yeah falang say I look better in real life". Wtf, am I being pranked right now?

I started to notice the smell at this point. Oh god did I start to notice. I grabbed my small pack of fisherman's friends breathmints by my bed and ate one. "You want one? I think good for you" I SUBTLY suggested.

The fell was so foul that I starting feeling noxious. I went to the bathroom to take a quick piss and get a whiff of fresh toilet air. When I came back to my room, the smell had actually filled the entire room (36m2 big bedroom/kitchen/living room in one), holy fuck.

So I did the only thing a real man of good taste would do. Gave her a quick lesson in dental hygiene, then powered through the stench and quickly fucked her twice in the butthole (the second time hard with no extra lube), gave her some taxi money and sent her on her way early.

She showed me some pictures of her Finnish boyfriend in between fucks, I hope they are happy together.